I have bent over backwards to try and make you feel okay. I have spent hours of my life worrying over how things would make you feel, terrified that I would lose you.
It feels like you've beaten me with a stick I already apologised for to assuage your guilt - that's how it feels. And it's not fucking fair.
It seems to me that you are behaving like a hypocrite, and usually I can rise above that but I have poured hours of time, passion, care, pain, and tears into trying to make this work. But yet.
It's fine that you're fine - ultimately I have always wanted that for you. And just like every other fucking beating I have endured, I will eventually get through and past this. But fuck you for the pain it takes along the way.
I really didn't want it to be like this. I tried so fucking hard. What was the fucking point‽‽
