I want to talk to you.

I need to get this off my chest. And I need to tell this to you. You need to hear it.

You might be one of those people who likes to know a lot of people. You like getting to know a load of people at the same time, you like being able to flit between groups of people. You like to keep your options open.
I can't do that. I'm just not bothered with idle chitchat and surely that's all you can do if you don't know people that well? I like to have a few people around me that know me well, than just be able to wave to a lot of people in the corridor. I like to get to know one person at a time, and know them really well. You don't work that way.
You must have caught me on a bad week or something, because I was doubting myself. But I was wrong. I am the way I am because I like it. It makes me happy. I choose not to talk to a lot of people. I choose not to stand in the smoking area all day making conversation with random people. I like the way I am and the way I am with friendship.
And you're the only one apart from Awkward Guy that has ever really found any kind of problem with the way I talk to people, so clearly my conversational skills are not that poorly lacking. Yeah, sure the things she said were true, but she admits it doesn't mean I'm hard to talk to.
But I digress.
My point is, we're different kinds of friends. We both knew this. I even mentioned it, in fact. I'm alright with that. Just because I don't like to go around not really knowing most people a tonne, but being able to hang out with a ridiculous amount, doesn't mean I can have friends like that. I don't mind being one of those people you see around and say hi to, but not really anyone special. The thing that's pissed me off is the way you went about this.
"Oh you'll get bored of me soon enough. This walking is far too much effort for you, you'll get fed up." That wasn't just me being modest or cynical or pessimistic or trying to fish for some kind of compliment. It was me telling you the truth. Because that's always how it happens. And I'm completely fine with it, I've dealt with that.
"Oh no way, I wouldn't. I'll show you, in a month we'll still be doing this. I like spending time with you and that's not going to change any time soon." Lies. Lies, lies lies. Maybe you didn't even realise it at the time, I don't know. But in the end you did exactly what I first expected from you. I suppose on the one hand it bugs me for starting to believe you. You were so adamant I was wrong, I guess I thought maybe you were an exception. For sure, no one had put in as much effort to talk to me as you did at that point.
The crazy thing is, it was the very next day that this started.
I wouldn't even be this bothered if you'd actually given me the courtesy to tell me you'd 'changed your mind'. I keep using that phrase because it sounds nicer in my head than 'gotten bored with me'. But you could have just given me some notice, and I could just move on with my day, deal with it. But you didn't. You acted completely normal and then didn't bother to wait for me, and haven't spoken to me since. Not even that, you lied to me about that day, pretending you had an excuse. You did not 'jet off', you were sat with a load of people for ages. And I saw you later on your bike just hanging out at the crossing. So don't give me that.
"Oh I don't see you around anymore!" More lies. Of course you do. I'm not acting in any way different to how I was the first week. And if you genuinely don't, it's because you're not looking. That first week, you must have been actively seeking me out, because you came up to me wherever we were in relation. You dropped conversation to come talk to me. And I know for sure you saw me today.
And it's not even like I've been demoted to average friend. I'm lower than that even. You won't come over any more at all, you don't talk... What's even going on?! Do I not at least deserve an explanation or a warning of some kind? No?
You know yourself. You should have known yourself well enough to know this would be what you'd do. Or maybe you were just lying to me long enough to work out if I was going to be an easy addition to your list. Maybe it really is as simple as the story I told to someone. It was literally you waiting for some kind of answer then moving on in search of the easiest yes you could find. If so, I'm glad. I really don't want to be friends with someone who is like that. I certainly wouldn't want to let myself get close to them.

ARGH. Out of that entire week did you not pick up the most fundamental thing about me? I'd rather you told me you got bored of me than this ridiculous behaviour. I wouldn't even be mad at you if you had. At all.

There's more I wanted to say, but it's slipped my mind and, quite frankly, I don't want to try and remember it right now.