I think I need to start writing stuff down again

 I've been having a really hard time lately.

A friend suggested I try and write it down. I feel so irrelevant right now. I've had a fantastic weekend but what does that matter.  It's gone, I am gone.

I cant fucking think with the volume of this laptop which I didn't want, that Sam decided I needed for no reason apart from I am supposed to. He wants me to want it.

I am a disappointment, I will not ever be worth it.

I didn't even want this 

Why can't I make anyone happy 

I fail even when I try my hardest.