Tuesday 12 March 2013

Why is the something so fundamentally messed up in my head?

I always kind of thought these issues were slightly self-exacerbated. That I didn't do myself any favours and it was my own fault that they were around in the first place, let alone that they stuck around...
But for some reason they're still here. They won't leave the back of my mind no matter what. I thought I was so happy with how everything is right now but it keeps seeming like maybe I'm worse than I've been in a long time...
And I feel so awful when all this stuff comes out of my head when I'm, lets say less in control of myself. It's not fair on anyone else to have to listen to. I just don't know how to stop myself being like this. And at the very least I'd like to be able to just keep all this shit locked up inside myself. I used to be able to do that; why can't I now?!

Saturday 2 March 2013

I think

This is the first time I've woken up alone after being drunk.

... I kind of like it, I want to spend a whole lot less time in bed when there's not a guy in it :P