Wednesday 14 June 2017

There's so much and not much at the same time.

I've been dealing with your shit for so long that I think I've actually given up. Do what the fuck would want and my greatest achievement is not letting you pull me down, really. I'm done with caring for you so much that it brings me down.

I'm going back to obscurity. I know I'll hate it, but I can't fight it too hard because I haven't actually had time to myself in a couple of years now. I hate myself, but I do miss just doing nothing,

I need rest, I've been needing it for at least the last year. This new lifestyle I live is exhausting, and no one can deny it. I absolutely love what it's given me, but I need to somehow find moderation.

I need to keep going on. That's the most important thing.

I make terrible decisions and I have terrible judgement, but I can always survive if I put my mind to it. I need to remember that.

And I need to learn moderation. Someday.