It's a good thing no one cares enough to check this.
Am I just being self indulgent?
Is it just because I'm not sober?
Am I destined to do this back and forth forever?
Why don't I know moderation?
Was my previous self contemplation a symptom of me being in a better place,with the freedom to even consider it?
Does this make me ignorant
I need to set my barriers but I also need to face the thing.
I don't think good will come of it but avoiding it isn't helping.
This is exhausting.
I just want to know how to survive it.
I feel a fraud. what's ridiculous is I am making less compromises than I ever have!
I am listening to myself on an instinctual level more than any time before in my life.
I am not being ruled by people pleasing. Just like I was told.
And low and behold - I'm not liked. I don't have inherent vale, and I can't keep acting like I do.
