Sunday, 8 July 2012

I feel slightly on the edge of a mental breakdown.

I don't even know why, maybe I'm just that hungry. Maybe today reminded me of the past. Maybe I'm feeling lonely. Maybe I miss being good at certain things. Maybe I've started to finally hate the person I've become.

I don't even know. But I seriously just want to curl up in a ball and ignore everything and just sleep away the rest of the week so I can wake up refreshed. I wish I could wake up and experience at least one day of myself a year ago just to feel the difference. The relationships I had, the friendships I lost. Even investigate the ones I have closer now but barely had then. I just want to relive a point where I wasn't this person; this wasn't my life.

I guess I'm becoming disillusioned. It's not a good thing, especially not with the happiness I've been feeling right now. I need to find some way to get back into who I am and how my life is going again.

Or maybe this feeling of being inadequate is just a retaliation to not being as talented in certain things or proficient as I used to be. Practice makes perfect and when the lack of practice causes a deterioration of forgetting of discipline, it has to be weathered to get good again.

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