Ellie says I should make you wait.

I always think to ask Ellie when these things happen. I don't even know why. I think it's because she has a bluntly honest policy which is exactly what I want when I'm asking for advice. Also for the detachment factor.

I told her a brief run-down of 'the story'. I didn't mention the three week hiccough though. She says I should make you wait a while. Make sure you really know what I'm about before letting anything happen. In a way I think you already know a lot of the things she said you should be finding out about me, but I'm going to take her advice. After all, it's kind of exactly what I've been saying this whole time.

She also told me not to be scared. That's not so easily done. I'm actually genuinely terrified about this. Because there's only so long we can skirt around this. Sooner or later, you're going to get fed up or it's going to happen. I think I want the second but I really am genuinely terrified of it. And I don't know how I'm going to get more comfortable with the idea. 

Drink, anyone?